One of the wisest and most faithful preachers I’ve ever met said that the ultimate barometer of our spiritual maturity is what comes out of our mouth. So true! The words we speak carry with them immense power – the power to heal or hurt, forgive or fault, develop relationships or drive wedges. So powerful is our tongue that it could mean the difference between peace and war. And something I experienced just today…really challenged me to keep the peace. Basically, someone I’ve worked with for years, a person whom I trust, treated me with rudeness, completely lacking in grace. And even though I did nothing wrong to deserve such treatment, I’ve grown enough in spiritual maturity over the years that I was able to make the right decision and walk away. Exactly what about spiritual maturity helped me to make this decision?
In all that we do, we need to consult the words of Jesus. In cases when I feel hurt by someone, I find solace in Luke 6:27-28 which reads: “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” In my opinion, the self-control it takes to follow Christ in this way comes only with spiritual maturity. It’s terribly difficult, but Jesus never said that following Him would be easy. In fact, He said that His followers will be hated by the world just as the world hated Him (John 15:18). But I digress. Knowing what God expects of me, I have found success using these 5 simple tricks in situations when I am feeling hurt or attacked:
- Stop and breathe.
- Apologize regardless.
- Express how you didn’t mean to cause hurt.
- Walk away.
- Forgive.
Oooohhh….number 5 is powerful! By getting upset and staying upset, how does that serve you? By denying or holding back forgiveness, how does that serve you? Pay attention here – it doesn’t. The only person you are hurting is you. On the other hand, when you forgive someone, no matter what they’ve done, you are breaking your own shackles, setting yourself free to move on. Not only is it a wonderful feeling, it is what God commands us to do! Like the Nike corporation says, Just Do It!
James, the half-brother of Jesus, explains how our tiny little tongues are like tiny little rudders that are powerful to guide giant ships, even in the strongest winds. By this analogy, a leader can guide his nation to a great and glorious future just by his right choice of words. But James also says that the tongue is “…a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8 ESV). By this analogy, a leader can also guide his nation and the world to death and destruction. What will you choose?